I had a falling out with a friend I’ve known since 5th grade. One of the things he told me during the fallout was, “Drew, you have a lot of problems.”

It hit me like a sledgehammer because he was exactly right.

I have attempted to rid myself of my problems. And, although I’ve made progress, some of them I will never be rid of. This made me profoundly sad for a time. But recently, I’ve discovered they are part of my strength. My gift.

I have discussed the concept of “mental judo” in earlier posts. And I think what I am describing today is another version of that. Turning what was once viewed as a weakness into something you can build a foundation upon.

For example, I have a lot of traumas I have had to work through. First with ACT therapy, then with EMDR. I thought for a long time I was so messed up I would never accomplish anything.

But the first step of transmuting problems into a gift was working at a psychiatric hospital as a mental health tech.

I wasn’t the greatest tech when I started. I was very nervous. But once I calmed down, I started to become a tech the nurses could depend on. Partly because I was large physically, but even more because I could stay calm during the chaos and, in doing so, keep the patients calm as well.

I understood feeling out of control because that is how I felt most of my life. I knew what it was like to be in pain, so I had an immense amount of patience, even when I was threatened with physical violence, had water thrown in my face, and saw chairs thrown across the hall.

Part of how I turn my problems into a gift is how I frame it in my mind. It’s a lot like taking lemons and making them into lemonade. It takes work to cut the lemons up, squeeze them, and add all the rest of the ingredients to make something very tasty.

It’s the same with my problems.

I had to go through over a decade of therapy with 4 different therapists to get to this point, but in doing so, I understand pain and therapy better than some seasoned therapists. That’s not a brag; it’s just the result of the work I’ve put in.

Today, I am beginning to be proud of the work I’ve put in and the people I have helped. I think becoming a social worker is the right path for me.

I don’t know exactly how my problems, aka gifts, will paint the path ahead of me. But I am excited for the first time in a long while. I hope I can continue to make progress. I hope I can help people who are in the pain I once was in.

I believe people are more alike than different. That is why I write these posts. Not to fix anything or change lives (although that would be cool). But to help someone who is lost in the dark. To share my light with those whose light has become dim.

You are not alone. You never are.

Take care, and I will see you here again Thursday.